I can’t delete because it is my “main blog” but I don’t intend to return. It’s served its purpose, it got my message where it needed to go. Yes I do have nightmares, yes I do have guilt, yes I do wish that I could take it back, yes I do think I should be kept from others. My emotions are still what they are, but my actions are as well. I’m legitimately and sincerely sorry for treating a child like an adult when I was no real adult myself. I am glad you’re doing better, I wish you the best.
Why hasn’t the lethal injection been commercialized? I would walk my happy ass down to CVS right now.
If only hating myself were still the worst of my problems. I prefer less shallow reasons to want to die these days.
And isn’t it just a fucked up thing, what stops me from killing myself is the prospect of living. Seems to me like
Even that choice I don’t have
I don’t fear suicide because I will die, I fear it because I may live.
Sometimes it’s fun to cry in a dark room for five hours with zero idea why.